Restaurant Kid

A Memoir of Family and Belonging

Rachel Phan

A warm and poignant narrative about finding one’s self amidst the grind of restaurant life, the cross-generational immigrant experience, and a daughter’s attempts to connect with parents who have always been just out of reach.

When she was three years old, Rachel Phan met her replacement. Instead of a new sibling, her parents’ time and attention were suddenly devoted entirely to their new family restaurant. For her parents—whose own families fled China during the Japanese occupation during the Second Sino-Japanese War and then survived bombs and starvation during the war in Vietnam—it was a dream come true. For Rachel, it was something quite different. Overnight, she became a restaurant kid, living on the periphery of her own family and trying her best to stay out of the way.

While Rachel grew up, the restaurant was there—the most stalwart and suffocating member of her family. For decades, it’s been both their crowning achievement and the origin of so much of their pain and suffering: screaming matches complete with smashed dishes , bodies worn down by ever-spreading arthritis, and tenuous relationships where they love one another deeply without ever really knowing each other.

In Restaurant Kid, Rachel seeks to examine the way her life has been shaped by the rigid boxes placed around her. She had to be a good daughter, never asking questions, always being grateful. She had to be a “real Canadian,” watching hockey and speaking English so flawlessly that her tongue has since forgotten how to contort around Cantonese tones. As the only Chinese girl at school, she had to alternate between being the Asian sidekick, geek, or slut, depending on whose gaze was on her.

Now, thirty-one years after their restaurant first opened, Rachel's parents are cautiously talking about retirement. As an adult restaurant kid, Rachel’s good daughter role demands something new of her—a chance to get to know her parents on the trip of a lifetime.

Bringing to lyric life the prism of growing up in a "third culture," Rachel Phan has crafted a vibrant new narrative of growing up, the strength and foibles of family, and how we come to understand ourselves.

Buy it now in print:

Buy it now in ebook:

Endorsements & Reviews

“Restaurant Kid is kaleidoscopic coming-of-age story that beautifully captures a young woman’s journey to understand her identity and her family’s history. Rachel Phan weaves a deeply personal narrative of growing up in the shadow of her parents’ restaurant—their hard-won livelihood and the source of both connection and tension. With grace and vulnerability, Phan explores the importance of reckoning with our roots, finding meaning in our family’s sacrifices, and coming to terms with the forces that shape who we are.” Christina Vo, author of The Veil Between Two Worlds and co-author of My Vietnam, Your Vietnam 

“What do we inherit and how do we decide what to leave behind? In Restaurant Kid, Rachel Phan writes at once with brutal honesty and heartbreaking tenderness, expertly dissecting her own experience as an immigrant kid, and the question of what do we owe to those who sacrifice the most?” Ann Hui, author of Chop Suey Nation

"A heartfelt tale about a third-culture kid searching for identity, belonging and a sense of home. Phan tells the universal story of what it means to grow up in an immigrant family with surprisingly intimate details of depression and emotional turmoil as she builds her own path and finds both herself and her family in an unexpected place.” Cheuk Kwan, author of Have You Eaten Yet?